Something
strange was happening. Rob and Roy’s clever tricks and and mental torture had
lost their touch. Their minds, agitated and energetic, were looking for a fix.
It felt wrong to explain their cruel rude and vulgar pranks and tricks; they
resorted to binge eating. They had found a place nearby that sold freshly baked
biscuits and for some reason they found it irresistible and mouth watering. Their new addiction was cancelling their smoking as well; all in all everything was good.
This however, came
to a very sad end when a girl bumped into them when they were eating biscuits
and some of them fell down. Mortified looking at the wastage of food, and the
fact that they had no money to buy them for about two weeks, they yelled at her
to the point she cried.
It was
later that they realized that she was in the same B-school as them, was their
junior and the daughter of the biscuit shop owner. Cursing them and cursing the
owner, they sat on the steps of the hostel utterly dejected; this is when they realized
that they can always steal some.
It was then
when they started practicing ‘Hiss Mew Purr’ the sacred art of Stalking.
Whilst
coming back from their somewhat dark excursions, they saw RC consoling Neko who
sported the same looks they had a few days ago.
‘What happened?’ Roy asked
‘He spoke
to a cute junior, she asked him for some notes from his first year and she
forgot to give her address.’
‘So what
why so troubled Neko?’
‘He likes
the cute junior.’
‘Ah. So who
is it?’ asked Rob.
‘You know
the one that lives near here I don’t know where exactly’ RC said.
An unknown
kiloton volcano of anger erupted in Rob and Roy’s minds
‘That GIRL
HAS NO MANNERS!’
‘How can
she ask him to deliver the notes and forget to give him the address’
‘This is
the point with these girls today Neko. They just think they are the center of
the universe’
‘There are
ways to find it’ RC said, ‘we can just check where she lives by just looking at
her facebook profile!’
Rob laughed
theatrically; give him a skull and he is good to go.
‘My foolish
friend, people can tell if you are stalking them on the net, they just have to
turn on the profile visitors option and…’
‘Then voila!
You are super creepy and chances are she will tell the same to all her other
friends.’ Roy finished.
‘Why would
she go around telling that bit of information to all her other friends?’ Neko
asked confused.
‘Poor
little Neko. Having a social media stalker makes you a rockstar in the women
world’
‘Well what
if the women are the stalkers and the men are the stalkee?’ asked Rob
‘Well that
means you are either married and have a lot of money or you are a jock.’ Roy
elucidated
‘Also you
can never tell what’s happening near her house if you don’t stalk physically.
If you’re actually there, then you will have something to talk about.’
‘Like how
the old lady constantly keeps staring at you.’ Rob said as if in some sort of
reverie.
‘An old
lady stared at you the whole time you stalked?’ Neko asked.
‘What? I have
not yet stalked anyone. But yes old ladies are very dangerous.’
‘Why?’
asked a curious Neko.
‘They stare
at you constantly and by doing so.. the hell! Why are we talking about old
ladies now?’ Rob realized the conversation was moving off topic.
‘Nowadays I
look out what the old lady is doing on facebook before I start my stalking..
you know, rule out potential hindrances in the stalk.’ Roy mentioned off handedly
'You added the creepy old lady as one of your friends in facebook? Neko asked positively constipated by the idea.
'Neko, that is not important right now' Roy said sternly
‘Here, take
this. You would need this..’ Rob handed him a cap.
‘Why do I
need a cap? Is it not out of the ordinary?’ Neko asked.
‘No you
stupid fellow. On the contrary this helps in hiding your face’ Roy explained as
Rob nodded.
‘How will a
cap hide your face?’ Neko asked.
‘Exactly it
won’t.’
‘THEN WHY
THE HELL AM I WEARING ONE THEN?’
‘You really
need to pay attention here. TO-HIDE-YOUR-FACE’ Roy mock yelled.
‘Well a
single unattended curl on the fore head worked for superman did it not? Not to mention
he did not have the glasses.’ Rob chipped in.
‘Yes yes glasses
are bad. They reveal your true identity to everyone.’ Roy agreed.
‘And last
but not the least, we need a cat.’ Rob pointed out.
‘A Cat?’
asked Neko.
‘Yes a Cat.’
Said Rob as he pulled one from his hoodie.
‘Why do you
have a Cat in your hoodie?’ asked Neko thoroughly confused.
‘I like
cats’ said Rob as he handed Neko the cat.
‘Why do we
need a cat again?’
‘We need a
cat so that it can go “meaow”’
‘YOU GUYS
ARE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER’
Rob sighed
and proceeded to explain ‘If you accidently make a sound, and the girl looks back
suspiciously, let the cat go; it will go “meaow” and then, she will think it’s
a cat and move on. Then re-collect the cat and continue stalking.’
‘Wait she
won’t think if it’s a cat just by looking at it?’
‘There you
go sayings things that make you sound like a normal person.’ Roy sighed.
‘I am a
normal person.’
‘Yes, but
one who wants to stalk.’ Rob pointed out.
‘Now we’ve
drawn the directions to the supermarket from where she buys groceries. Off you
go have a good stalk and ensure to stay out of trouble, okay?’ Roy shooed Neko
into the now dark alleyways.
‘You are
sending me to trouble..’
‘Pfft technicalities…’ Rob waved a dismissive hand.
Neko
started stalking the girl, followed her from the super market in the maze of
alleys, when he thought he heard something.
With each
step he took, he heard two more and when he took two steps he heard four more. He
added up the math looked behind to see Rob and Roy tip-toeing with their
respective cellphones outstretched.
‘What the
hell are you guys doing?’ Neko asked.
‘Shh shh..
whisper or the cat will go “meaow”’
‘That’s why
we are whispering? Seriously?’
‘We are taking
a video of your Stalk’ said Rob
‘Why would
you do that?’ these two were making no sense at all.
‘It’s your
first stalking! Who does not take a video of that? It’s a..umm.. sneakily
creepy occasion. It does not come many times in one’s life..’
‘Damn right
it doesn’t’
‘Oh look
she is turning the corner.. hurry hurry..’ Roy pointed out and all three rushed
to catch up.
‘Ah, we are
near the old lady’s place’ Rob whispered.
‘Wait you
guys knew this place?’
‘Oh shit. I
forgot to check the old lady’s status. Its late, maybe she has gone to sleep.’
‘Whoops! No
she has not. There she is sitting on the porch like always’ Rob turned back.
Rob and Roy
looked at each other and started running back to the hostel yelling ‘Runaway!’ whilst
Neko ducked behind a car..
‘Who goes
there?’ the old lady called out. Neko realized that the cat ploy may not be such a bad idea; he let the
cat go.
The old
lady repeated the question. And to his horror, the cat refused to “meaow”. He
now heard the gate creak open and foot-steps coming toward him; he took a small
pebble and hit the cat.
It reaoowed and ran..
‘Oh my God!
It’s you two again? That is it! I’m calling the Cops! I’ve told you many times
not to steal the biscuits I make! If you want it you need to buy it!’
Come out
right now or I’m really calling the cops. I’m going to press 100 in my cell
phone now.
Neko came
out.
‘Oh. Who are
you?’ asked the old woman, which is when the owner of the biscuit shop and his
daughter came out.
‘Ah. Neko!’
she said, ‘Please come in have some tea.’
Neko looked
back at his hiding place and saw a cap through the window; he gave them a mock
smile and a thumbs up and followed the cute junior inside.
'the nerve of that guy' Rob whispered
'And after all we've done for him' Roy
'Do you have smokes on you?' Rob asked. Roy looked at him and shook his head.
'The nerve of that guy' Roy whispered
'And after all we've done for him' Rob
